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The Naked Housewife - How to Shave a Man

Date:July 18, 2006, 2018

      First of all, you two should have been either in a hot shower or a hot tub
before starting this adventure. Relaxed. Wet. His beard softened. Ready for your
      Lay everything out even before the shower because we don't want to waste
      The bathroom should be heated, a heat lamp, a space heater, or just warm
weather. We don't want shivering.
      Firmly sit him down.
      The toilet lid, with a thick folded towel or a padded vanity chair (sturdy
chair). If the toilet lid is the option, be sure there is room for your legs going
backward. (Check ahead of time.) By law, the toilet has to be spaced enough
from close items that this could work, but check before you start.
      Tip him back.
      Slide him a bit forward and make him tilt backward just a bit and tell him -
no hands. Make sure you have restraints handy. Handcuffs will do. Make sure
he knows.
      Straddle him.
      Some men might take exception to this since they prefer things to be their
own idea. Nope. You are in charge. Don't let him try to get up.
Well, up but not out of the chair.
      Take the time to see that he is hard enough, using your mouth if necessary
(but not too much as they tend to lose control with this procedure). Or try a
favorite hand maneuver. Anything to achieve the desired effect. Once he starts
making funny noises and his eyes glaze, he is probably ready. Mount him and
snuggle in. (Why you need leg room around whatever seat you have him on.)
      Ignore his whining.
      Wriggle a little bit.
      Just enough to get him mumbling. But not too much. And remind him---no
      Restrain him from any activity initiated by him. Remind him about the
handcuffs should he disobey.
      Keeping his head back and chin up, grasp the handle of the can of shaving
cream and put it on your hands. Smooth, pat and place it over his whiskers (or
whatever you are shaving) just as he would have done. You have probably
watched this procedure.
      Now, grip the handle of the shaving safety razor (this procedure is too
dangerous for a straight razor) and begin to shave him.
      Make all your motions slow. Remember to go up the neck, down the cheek,
and feel free to ask him for directions.
      Every time that you rinse the blade off, lean back and provide a view,
wriggle and twist a bit, and remember to readjust your seat.
      Don't do too much of this. Ignore his noises.
      He should be making little sounds by now, moans, grunts, gasps, and other
manly sounds. Don't let him distract you but these sounds will let you know that
he is well aware of what you are doing.
      Of course, this is a perfect time to practice those Kegel exercises. Every
little now and then. Keeps his eyes glazed over.
      Another little trick, when you lean over to rinse the razor off, is to put your
breast within tongue range but not too close. If he tries to move, remind him of
the handcuffs and other restraints. You can let his tongue touch your nipple, but
go no closer.
      When you lean back, your can slowly drag your breasts across his chest.
Lightly. Then squirm about a little and resume shaving. Slap his hands if he is
being bad.
      It is acceptable to stick out the tip of your tongue or to lick your lips (do this
SLOWLY) while you man the razor. It will help control him. You can also blow
lightly on his newly shaved skin.
      Repeat this procedure until he has been shaved. Use a warm wet cloth to
take off the excess shaving cream. Pat him dry. Wiggling during this part of the
operation is recommended.
      Wiggling should always involve a slight rise and fall down his shaft, just
enough. We wouldn't want you to get a leg cramp, so you need to adjust your
seat often. If this is done correctly, his chest should be heaving, his eyes should
be rolling back in his head, or his eyes may have crossed. There should be signs
that he has been and still is, helpless.
      Try any of these tricks at once at any time should he give any signs of
regaining the ability to think. (Not likely.)
      Once he is dry - check - with your cheek and fingers - if you have finished.
      Check for missed spots. (Because if so, you may have to repeat the whole
procedure. Most men will resist this however.)
      If you are satisfied, rub your cheek against his clean, soft skin but do not
allow him movement.
      If he is restrained you can suggest that you will set him loose if he promises
to be good. Most men will agree to almost anything at this point.
      If all is well, stand up quickly, wrap in a towel and hurry out of the room.
      You will not get far.

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